MARTIN BRUNDLE’s RACING LINES

 

Martin
Martin
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Martin Brundle’s witty, hilarious and wry comments (as well as the sarcastic and sometimes all-too-brutally honest ones!) are considered by many to be the highlight of ITV1’s coverage of Formula 1 Grand Prix races. From 1997 to 2002, some of his best comments were faithfully recorded on The Martin Brundle Quotes Page. I set this site up for 2002 onwards as an attempt to carry on the fun rather than let the concept die completely – particularly for those who don’t or can’t watch the racing on ITV1 but miss Martin’s comments.

Comments, insults and bouquets - and any quotes I’ve missed which you would like to see included - can be sent to me here (note that this is a new address, as free-online are rubbish at filtering out junk mail!). I’ll try to check the exact wording on the video and add your submission in the right place, so please try to give me some clues as to when it happened.

PLEASE NOTE! This site is not associated with or endorsed by Martin Brundle in any way. I don’t have Martin’s ear (or his email address!) and so I cannot forward questions, or requests for photos and autographs, to him. Try ITV1’s website if you want to try to contact him direct.

Callie


Congratulations to Martin for being awarded an honorary degree at the University of East Anglia. Details here.

“Sit down and imagine how hard it is to be a Formula 1 driver – and it’s five times harder than that.”

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Spain 13-14 May
SPAIN

“Felipe Massa turning right into a left-hander.”

“Mark Blundell and I drove the Williams a couple of weeks ago. While we were doing some set pieces on overtaking, we lost tyre temperature and it was like driving on ice – it was incredible. I’ve got a whole new respect now post-Safety Car and in circumstances where the tyres are not fully up to temperature, pressure and therefore grip.”

“Those [Ferrari wing mirrors] out on the side pods are about as useful as a chocolate fireguard, I would have thought. It’s very much a question of an ounce of aerodynamic performance getting accepted over common sense.”

“That should just see him in the top ten shootout. He’ll have another go, though: it’s not enough to be giving it, ‘Right, that’ll do for me’.”

(Davidson goes off-track.)
James:
“He obviously heard you say he drives an F1 car really nicely.”
Martin: “Commentator’s curse!”

“I’m only half joking when I say that I’m sure that if that [Honda] car had a proper paint job, the whole team would be lifted three tenths of a second. It just looks weird out there.”

Martin: “(Michael) must feel like a fish out of water here. I’ll be amazed if [he] doesn’t come back and drive a Formula 1 car at some point.”
James: “That’s quite a line to pop in. You think Michael Schumacher’ll definitely race again in Formula 1?”
Martin: “It wouldn’t surprise me at all. Why wouldn’t he? I can’t see him standing there watching a race with a set of headphones on. In fact, I’m not even really sure what he’s doing here.”

(A Toyota mechanic carries Heidfeld’s missing wheel nut towards his mechanics.)
“He’s like, ‘Is anybody looking for this?’ They do have spare wheel nuts around but I’ve got a feeling that was the important one. [However,] sometimes the [old] wheel nut flies off with the gun. (Heidfeld pulls off the track.) No, it was the important one.”

(Louise talks with Heidfeld about the incident.)
Heidfeld:
“It’s one of those things that can happen, but it simply shouldn’t happen.”
Martin: “He’s absolutely right, but that’s what the team say when you stick it in the gravel trap or the wall as well!”

“I think Coulthard’s done a brilliant job today and deserves Driver of the Day. But (Massa) did a supreme job as well.”

Bahrain 14-15 April
BAHRAIN

“It’s the fourth desert Grand Prix of Bahrain – one of my personal favourites, as it happens.”

“The playground that is made up of Turns 1, 2 and 3. ... There’s one thing I don’t like about corners such as this Turn 1. If you’re coming through this apex, busy minding your own business doing about fifty miles an hour, and somebody comes into the corner and collides or just drops it under braking, they can come straight across this infield and join you as an uninvited guest in the side of the cockpit.”

“Interesting to see the different methods of cooling the drivers down [while sitting in the car in the garage]. I remember when I first did a dozen laps in a car in Rio, I got out and was actually physically sick because the heat just welled up inside me on a day when it was forty odd degrees. David Coulthard uses a bag of dry ice sitting in his lap. I don’t know if that’s for pleasure or a necessity. ... I half expected Lewis Hamilton to have a fan heater sitting there, just a bit of psychological warfare with the other drivers.”

(Revisiting the pronounciation of ‘Kubica’)
“Koobitza – I’m gonna give up on that. It is Koobitza, apparently. I’ll concede. Koobicka’s still easier to say.”

James: “I think the two Hondas are looking doomed here.”
Martin: “I think they’ll be slightly relieved they’re even in this session.”

“Turning in too early, son.”

“Bernie, do not send me to some spurious ex-Prime Minister like you did in Australia!”

“The wheels are coming off the McLarens’ race.”

(Webber’s fuel flap sticks open)
“Formula 1 is hard enough without having silly problems.”

“I think race craft and being able to negotiate the back markers is a core skill of being a Grand Prix driver, but [the FIA] didn’t like back markers spoiling good races, so now they have to jump out of the way.”

(Coulthard overtakes Fisichella in an amazing manoeuvre)
“It’s gonna be a job with the same engine to overhaul the works Renault. He’ll have to be a Dan Dare when he gets down to Turn 1. DC is ... is ... gonna try it ... and he’s made it! What a mega-overtake! Coulthard is on fire this afternoon! It’s one of those where you have to [say], ‘OK, I’m coming up the inside; I’ll leave it up to you whether you want to have an accident, Giancarlo’. DC’s like, ‘OK, if you’re gonna be that slow in the braking, then I’ll have a go at you, son’.”

“There’s five thousand pieces in each of these V8 2.4 Formula 1 engines, and something made a bid for freedom there.”

“[If] you make a mistake here, you’re onto the sand and out there with the camels.”

“I always lean into the corners when I’m watching cars from onboard. I find my head leaning one way like I’m on a motorbike.”

“Lewis can see the prey, and he will be praying that there were just a few more laps available.”

“(Hamilton)’s gonna be so disappointed one day, isn’t he: he’s not gonna score a point or the car’s gonna break down. I’m not sure how he’s gonna cope with that.”

Driver of the Day
“For me, it’s Felipe Massa. The man who didn’t finish the race who was heading for Driver of the Day was David Coulthard with some amazing overtakes.”

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